Squids Ink

dreams

2010-05-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

Matt and I were talking about one of his wants in the near future..(remodeling garage for his studio, to put his DJ equip in (turning the two car into a one car) Since the current room must now be a baby room, and it came up about my wants.. I have them, just havent thought about them in a while..

I've put them on the back burner or have had them seem unreachable for so long that I sometimes forget... So I wanted to just write them down. To remind myself that they can be my dreams regardless if I ever actually get to do them or not.

Alot of things come first, I've always believed this, mainly because God has given me other responsibilities that must be met first. Its the order of being an adult, and Parent. Being a parent from when I was 23 means I started that responsibility earlier than some, and unlike other parents, I took that responsibility seriously. plus I tend to put my families needs above my own.. as that is just who I am..

So here is my list of what I've dreamed of. What I want. My secret little goals that sit in my head:

1) I worked so hard to lose my weight the first time... and I WILL do it again after this baby is born.. however, what I know will happen will be the excess skin. It was so hard to have see this baggy saggy skin on my thighs, my arms and my stomach after working so hard.. yes I was small, but the droopy skin was a constant reminder of my struggle and a constant reminder that I was huge at one point. it made me self conscious and not as beautiful as other women. I still had a hard time feeling successful at my weight loss because of it... SO this time around.. when the weight comes off again I already know my skin will be the same.. My dream then and still is to have the surgery to remove it. This is a HUGE dream for me. I cried many nights wishing I could have this done. (Money is the problem here, we're talking around 7k)

2) Since I was a teenager, I LOVED massage therapy. I loved that I could help someone else with touch. I truly believe in touch therapy and have watched it work miracles in other peoples lives. I have always enjoyed giving to others and have been that sounding board all my life. This dream I have had the longest. To go to Massage school, get my LMP license and start my own business. ( $$ and time have gotten in the way!)

3) My third dream is one that I've kinda known all my life.. just didnt know how to make that happen w/ a child and single income. I didnt know where to go and how to get help.. now.. i feel like its too late. Time, money, mortgage that needs two incomes.. blah blah.. anyhow.. my third dream is to go to school and get my counseling degree. I Love listening and helping and being there for other people, this would be a Job I would LOVE.. instead of the job i have to just get by with. ( again, money and time and work get in the way)

4) This is a silly dream, but a dream nonetheless. Its actually something that means a GREAT deal to me. its a functional kitchen. I love to cook and am at home in a kitchen. Having a nice spacious working kitchen would feel so nice! I want to do what makes me happy and cooking gives me that. Right now, our kitchen is small, unfunctional, with poor layout, poor space, poor storage, poor counters, terrible cupboards that I cant reach because they are too high.. just all and all a crappy kitchen. This dream will come true I think.. if we can ever afford the remodel.. kitchens are pricey!

5) For all who know me.. Im a bathroom girl too.. I love my baths.. Relaxation and meditation mean ALOT to me. I NEED them. I relax and meditate in water.. its what centers me. Having a bathroom that speaks this level is so important.. its hard to relax and meditate when you can see the gross mold on the window.. or the bathtub is a cheap piece of shit and can barely hold enough water to cover your lap. the walls are ugly and the man who put the towel racks in didnt anchor them so they've all ripped from the wall. This is a dream I can make come true i think as well.. I've just got to save some money for paint, a new bathtub with JETS! and new wall mounts/shelving. A new toilet would be good too, because ew.. this one is old.

6) since im on the path of remodeling.. the bedroom is my next dream :) man oh man would I like a nice new vanity and flooring.. the current is so bad its disgusting! may be reachable.. but its a money thing.

7) my daughter is coming into the age where I need to prepare!!! My next dream and HOPE is that I will find the money to send her to college.. NO MATTER WHAT! I will sell my kidney if needed.. that girl WILL have opportunities!!!!! This is a dream.. because right now, it feels unreachable.

8) another dream is to just enjoy life.. its hard to enjoy all parts when its just work, work ,work (at a job you dont really care for), come home, cook, go to bed. repeat. ... There HAS to be more.. this feels so mundane and repetitive and lonely that it drives me crazy. I then just bug everyone else, because I come home and want to talk, Play, visit and shake that repetitiveness off.. which not everyone wants to do..I really miss my family when im at work, I just think of all the mess at home I need to get done.. clean, prepare dinner, and spend time with Matt and kaytlin when they get home...I know thats very old school mentality as it seams everyone else just wants to be left alone..but its there.. Im a domestic at heart. This is a dream that just is what it is.

9) and 10) are very private and personal dreams that I can not share.. they are for me and me alone..they are both unreachable.

To those that think it would be so simple to accomplish these.. I'd love to hear how.. the money part I talk about is that these all take a large sum of money.. We dont have it. Period. even with two full incomes.. this is a hardship. For a few of these.. time is also needed.. I mean.. it would require me to work part time..PLUS money.. this is not possible. Period. We can not afford it. and just as before, we are going to be parents.. and that is a responsibility that trumps all else.. as God has put this before us and He says this is our journey now.

I'm ok if my wants never make it to fruition.. JEHOVAH-JIREH ( The Lord will provide)

Question of the day

2009-07-29T13:51:00.000-07:00

What would You do for a Klondike Bar?

Well, I would get in my car. I would drive to the store. I would grab cash from my purse and pay for the ice cream bar.

This Marketing ad drives me crazy. i mean.. really.. why would anyone do anything different for a klondike bar?

My Name is "I AM"

2009-01-12T07:05:00.000-08:00

I was regretting the past and fearing the future.

Suddenly my Lord was speaking:

“MY NAME IS I AM”

He paused. I waited. He continued!

“When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard. I AM not there.
My name is not I WAS.

When you live in the future,with its problems and fears, it is hard. I AM not there.
My name is not I WILL BE.

When you live in this momentit is not hard. I AM here.
My name is I AM!”

It's a Sabotage

2009-01-09T14:34:00.000-08:00

you know when you're trying to do something good, and someone else doesnt want to, but they dont want you to succeed either, so they try and sabotage you?? yeah.. this is my day today:

Today: I was drinking my slim fast breakfast
Neighbor lady: wow.. you've been doing really good this week.
Me: Thanks.. im trying. I'm very motivated to lose what I gained last year ( i mean seriously Motivated..i really want to get back where i was! not just for health reasons, but for Matt too!)
Neighbor lady: yeah.. i need to too!

Lunch: Im drinking my second slim fast.
Neighbor lady: good job girl! you rock (she's chomping on chicken teryaki and rice)
me : thanks :) ( i really just want to say, stop watching me!)

An hour later
Neighbor lady comes to my desk with a slice of cheesecake the size of a freaking dinner plate, sets it on my desk and begins to walk away.
Neighbor lady: Sally's Bday cake ! YUM I knew you'd want some! It is So good.. cheat a little today ok.. you've done good, you deserve a cheat treat!!
(mind you, a slice this big is wayyy more than a cheat treat)

Me: no thanks, i really dont want to go there.
I try and hand it back, she wont take it.
Me: I dont want to waste it, maybe you should see if someone else wants it?
Neighbor: no no, everyone is having some and already got a piece.. just nibble on it.. ( i thought I was done with peer pressure!)

Me: ( no words, I just dropped it in my garbage can while she looked on with her mouth open)

Thanksgiving Joke

2008-11-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

A young Woman named Kathy received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

Kathy tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else she could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, Kathy was fed up and she yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.
Kathy shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude with some of the worst profanity she had ever heard!

In desperation, Kathy threw up her hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that she'd hurt the parrot, Kathy quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto Kathy's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

Kathy was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As she was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING........ :-)

Take a moment

2008-11-21T18:23:00.000-08:00

Well, such a strong and kind soul left us today. He will be gracing heaven with our Father. No more pain, or worry. No more cancer. He said he wanted to help the homeless and he lived just long enough to witness the out pouring of care and kindness his wish made come true. Stuff the Truck with food for the homeless ended up stuffing 6 trucks! 85k pounds of food donated in the honor of Brenden Foster. more than 200 ham and cheese and pb and j sandwiches were handed out across Seattle. He saw it all, and thought it was awesome. yesterday was the big Stuff the Truck drive. Brenden was excited to see what would happen, and he did. However, now that his wish came true, he was ready to go. And so Brended went, this morning. I am so touched by this child. My heart aches for his family to lose such a beautiful soul who touched so many, to bring out such compassion and humanity in perfect strangers. How can you love someone you never even met? my heart is sad to lose him today. What a brave and gracious child. I take comfort in knowing he was so collected and peaceful in the last weeks, and understood his time was short. and what did he do with his short time? thought of others. wished for people to help those less fortunate. He has inspired me. He has made me see my worries are small in comparison. My pain is bearable. and to love life while you have it. Which is what he said "my time is coming, but until it comes, im going to have fun" To be peaceful and help others. He said he is going to keep doing good works in Heaven. I think I believe him :)

Update

2008-11-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

I know the Seahawks aren't doing so great. well, actually, they really suck this year,

But ... On the story of Brenden Foster(see previous post)...The Seahawks are totally STARS in my eyes.

Read the updated story,

http://www.komonews.com/news/34498624.html

Amazingly Brave and Compasionate

2008-11-14T14:21:00.000-08:00

So, those who know me, know i love a good article or story. I love happily ever afters, and I love stories of humanity. Well, we have a story of humanity, and bravery and compassion right here in our own back yard. Not a happily ever after, but an amazing kid with no time left, thinking of others first.

This boy is from Bothell. he probably wont live past this week. He had two weeks to live, and his two weeks were up on Wednesday.

His last wish? that he saw alot of homeless people from the tent city and thought they probably need some food and asked that people give the homeless some food in his name.

This story is amazing. It is so heart felt and you cant help but feel your own gripes and complaints, pains and headaches are so trivial compared to this boy, his terminal illness and his outlook on his life.

Read the story and watch the video. It will make you a better person just for reading it

Part 1 Story:http://www.komonews.com/news/34127439.html

Part 2 Story: http://www.komonews.com/news/34418669.html

Video: http://www.komonews.com/news/34241094.html ( Click on "watch the story")

season for hating

2008-10-28T15:00:00.001-07:00

reasons I'm hatin today:

1) snotty ass clicky bitches that wish they were still in highschool, cause that attitude counted then and they felt like they had a purpose.. But no, they sit in their cubicles just the same as everyone else. But guess what Skores?? (thats skanky whores abbreviated) I make more money than you, and do less, and dont have alcoholism.

2) Your scary freak of a girl friend who was the most disrespectful, rude, fake, nasty, skanky chick I have met in a very long time. she was so full of shit that she left a mark on the strange guy she was grinding with on the dance floor.

3) being dead broke 4 days before pay day. ARGGGHHH! I hate that.

4) having irregular heart beats.

5) when you dont sleep good because you spent all night waking up from dumb ass stupid insecure dreams that you feel like a fool for even having. But then question their possibility anyway.

The Stormtrooper groove

2008-09-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

HA.. check out this video of a dancing stormtrooper.. lol.. actually he is Danny Choo, the son of the designer Choo. pretty funny, and smart.. its paying for his mortgage.

http://www.komonews.com/home/video/28452499.html?video=YHI&t=a

Sausage Beater

2008-09-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

What? this is the most bizarre story I have ever read.

http://www.komonews.com/news/offbeat/27979044.html

Cool Pix-

2008-08-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

These pix were from a cubicle neighbor at work. in full high def , they are really pretty cool. Click on the pic to see the full version up close and personal. And yeah.. the skyline pic is of seattle!

Weather Fun

2008-08-27T15:08:00.001-07:00

watch the video of the little tornado we had here in washington on Monday!

http://www.komonews.com/weather/blog/27371354.html

Dumbasses + Weed = worthless weed

2008-08-27T14:54:00.001-07:00

who's that stupid? read some of the local comments at the bottom of the story lol

http://www.komonews.com/news/offbeat/27299754.html

Hypocrite

2008-07-10T15:52:00.001-07:00

I came across this article today and was actually disgusted with Jesse Jackson. this man is a hypocrite. he is everything he preaches against. The man will turn on anyone. he has been caught many times with his foot in his mouth and here is another example. he is only for the African American, as a race all by itself. Which in itself is a racial frame of mind! he wants Obama to speak to "his" people about "their issues", such as the amount of African Americans in prison. Well Mr jackson, jeeze i think the only thing to address there is.. the number of African Americans in prison is determined by the number of African Americans breaking the law and being caught.. which is the same way we calculate the "whites" Hispanics, asians and middle eastern people too. He himself is continuing to segragate by making such comments. Good for Obama on continuing to speak to people as ONE. regardless of Jacksons comment that he made while thinking he's off mic. Dumb ass.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25611808/

Get pounded on your own terms!

2008-04-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

When playing a video game, do you ever wish you could actually FEEL what is going on? maybe when your character gets shot, you wish you could feel his pain? maybe when you're being kicked and punched by some ass whole, you kinda wish you could get a little more into the game and feel those blows.. cause you know.. that would make it more REAL and you could no doubt get into the game with more gusto..

"Unlike traditional force feedback devices that rumble or buzz, the 3rd Space™ Vest gives you precise impact where it happens, as it happens. Get pounded with body slams, crushed with G-forces, and blasted with bullet fire. "

Now, I'm not much of a player.. I like the games like Crash bandecoot and Mario.. but I found this invention Pretty cool. Not that I personally want to know what its like being shot, but I can see where this is going to be a hit. Along with other games that are more interactive such as Guitar hero, Rock band and DDR, this is making game time pretty realistic. My only concern is, it will add to the desensitization that our younger players are already experiencing. will they be affraid to be shot if they think its going to feel like the vest shows it?

This guy in Redmond, creates this vest for medical technology, to test people for vascular circulation, but quickly realized it would make a cool gaming addition, and allows the player to feel every punch, kick, and shot. So he decided to market it to all and its now available for 169.00. I'd like to know if the feelings are going to be realistic... If you do decide to go and get it.. let me know how you liked it.. I'm very curious. Check out this link and see it for yourself.

http://www.tngames.com/

If you want to skip the vest..for a small fee of 100.00 an hour, I'd be glad to sit next to you while you play your game and punch, kick and smack your ass to bring realism to your game!

the Bidet

2008-04-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

After reading Enemesis's blog on a shituation... I thought about the topic quite a bit.
Men and women alike are in the same shituation here. Not only the shituation at hand, we also have general cleanliness that is often overlooked in the nether-regions. I'd like to point out that Toilet paper is exactly what it is called... PAPER. we are no further in our science than we were 100 years ago. Is it really all we've come up with to clean the area of importance?
yes, there are the fad options, flushable wet wipes, but are they being used instead of the toilet paper? no. Very few people even know of the option! Being a Mom, I'll admit to having found the joys of baby wipes for adult use a long time ago.
There is another option! its called the Bidet. actually, American plumbing manufacturers produce more Bidets than manufacturers in any other country, these same Bidets are exported away from the very people who believe that they lead the world in personal cleanliness and hygiene habits. But Americans themselves do not purchase these. A large majority of Europe and other countries are very fanatic about Bidets. They find it a necessity as well as a luxury to warm water bathe themselves quickly and efficiently after shituations.. The Bidet sits right next to the toilet.. you hop on.. enjoy the warm rush of water that is cleansing you, pat dry and feel great. It seems like Americans need to step up to the Bidet. More than just shituations, you know there are people out there that should Bidet themselves just to get rid of the STANK they are emitting... its a win win resolution!
read more here:
http://www.bidet.com/bidet.htm

Dalai Lama drama

2008-04-11T13:58:00.000-07:00

When I arrived at work today, the entire street in front of my building was lined on both sides with more than 100 police motorcycles and then all the bike cops, horses.. yada yada.. all preparing for the Dalai Lama and his entourage to move on down the road to the convention center for his Seeds of Compassion meeting. more than 15,000 students were attending, along with 150,000 other people. I guess he was staying at the Hilton next door. I know the Dalai Lama is the religious leader of Tibet, and is very big on Peace and compassion. This event is NOT a religious event. nor is it Political. that was stated up front. Would I want my daughter to hear what he has to say on compassion? sure! If it was a religious event, would I want my daughter to hear what he has to say on Compassion and Buddhism.. not so much, as we're Christians and I'm the Mom. Now, I know for a fact, a school Can NOT take your child somewhere with out the parents permission. SO if it was an event on religion, I would simply say, no, she can not attend. Am I angry that other parents are allowing their children? no.. thats between them. Obviously this parent doesnt get that.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/education/2004341619_dalaischool11m.html

If anything, they will learn to respect another human being, who happens to have great views on compassion. which if you've been watching the news lately.. the kids NEED more of it badly( the teacher beating, the bus beating incident.. ) Maybe they should try teaching their children who God is. And that Compassion should be part of Everyone, regardless of religion. Which being Christians, is a pretty important thing, since Jesus was the most Compassionate person ever to grace our earth.

One of the parents states " would the Pope be welcomed that way"... well, probably not, know why? he doesnt do non religious discussions nor travel to spread the word. BUT, if he did say, travel the world, deciding to speak of a general subject like "kindness", I believe people would welcome him greatly, he is a figure of faith and hope, and I believe people want to hear about faith and hope. But again, if you dont want your child to hear what the Pope has to say about religion, just dont let them attend. This is not a hard parenting problem. You say either yes, or no.

its just a learning opportunity on Compassion.. thats it..

on another note of the same chord.. Dave Mathews will be doing a concert today at 4:30 right after his time with the Dalai Lama.. they're doing a conversation and concert for the public..
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004341362_davematthews11.html

Bromance?

2008-04-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

While searching around today, a funny word caught my eye. "Bromance"
Urban Dictionary states "Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males."
I googled the word to find more information and located this site: http://thebromance.com/ I'm not sure what I think about this site, if its just funny and witty, or just disturbing..they are mostly a recorded show, but Check it out, Im sure you'll give me some input.

Now, Women have "girlfriends" and while we are Very close, and have love and affection for one another, it is definately a sisterly act. There is no Femance. We speak pretty freely of our feelings for one another, and that usually sounds like this " I am so glad we are friends and I love you". its an I love you that you would say to your sister, or mother..

My purpose here is to bring to light an interesting view.
A man would never say, this is my boyfriend, Carl. Unless he and Carl were gay. A man generally does not have a specific identification other than "friend".. This is my Friend Carl. Most men would not use any other specific identification because of the fear or concern someone would read the relationship in the wrong way. It is also a way for Men to lay down important ground rules, such as Friend implies I like you, I enjoy your company but smack me on my ass or spontaneously hug or kiss me and Ill kick you in the neck. I dont normally see men say to each other, " i love you", "I care about you" or "I respect and cherish our relationship" So i have to assume it is because the ground rules were laid out, you are friends and there is no need to communicate the deepness or appreciation of each other further as it should be implied since you are friends. I understand the majority of this is because Men are not comfortable expressing these feelings out loud, let alone to another Man. Then WHY? Why would the Male population create a word to describe their relationship with another STRAIGHT Male that is completely and suggestively emotional, as well as latterally connected to a word that implies love on a level other than friendship? Was Bro not enough? or my good friend? my Best Man?

Just curious as to where the Bromance started.

what would you do?

2008-03-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

if you were standing at a busy intersection in the city(kinda windy).. waiting for the crosswalk sign to say its ok to go..while waiting you reach into your McDonalds bag for a fry and out pop all the napkins..which then proceed to dance across the street, each taking a different route. What would you do? do you just let them go? do you scramble across the street picking up the ones you can catch while dodging vehicles? do you look at the person next to you like it was their fault? remember.. everyone is out and about.. they're all watching you... what do you do?

Liar Liar, Pants on fire!

2008-03-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Reading about Hilarys latest embelishment is a little sickening. She wants everyone to say.. "OH MY!".. "She's so Brave to have endured that! she's so in touch with foreign diplomacy! What a courageous woman!"

My thoughts?

She's exactly like the annoying guy/girl we all know.. the one that tells stories that get broader and more dangerous with each telling.. they want the attention and adoration that comes with great acts of bravery. when in reality, she has no experiences that put her on that level, except maybe having sex with Bill after Monica had been with him.. you never know what kind of dangers lurk there!

Stating she "mispoke" is a flat out lie. her people try to say, well, she's been so many places and has had so many experiences.. its hard to remember...
OK.. then go ahead and tell me which experience she IS remembering where she was ordered to run to her car while enduring sniper fighting? She's very specific in her details.. so if not the Bosnia trip.. then which trip was it that this actually happened? you cant really remember details unless they happened at some point.

Hmmmm....Cant remember? probably because, it never happened. In Hilarys mind, she got confused of what stories she's told people that were completely made up to boost her self esteem..versus the truth, then she spit it out in front of ALOT of people that are way too knowledgeable to believe her little tale of woes, with the power to research and actually find the truth.

Hilary Hilary.. didnt your momma teach you not to lie??

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23789011/

cookies!

2008-01-17T12:34:00.000-08:00

I always wondered where Oreo's come from..

(but for real, these cows really look like this.. they are called Belted Galloways aka the Oreo Cow)

interesting site

2008-01-17T07:37:00.001-08:00

good satire and all out funny videos

http://www.mydamnchannel.com/channel.aspx?episode=110

If the song fits

2008-01-15T14:08:00.000-08:00

While roaming around today, I found this song.. I think.. Sometimes.. this song really fits with whats going on in life... Please .. do yourself a favor and play it loud.. learn the lyrics.. and sing away! it will make you feel better

http://www.pud.com/2007/12/greatest-and-best-song-ever-written.html

Brain matter

2008-01-09T10:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, the Gerbil annoys the shit out of me. the wheel just keeps going round and round. The noise of it all is tiring. he knows the squeaking bothers you..which makes him just keep on it.. he's watching for your reaction and when you react, he smiles inside and remembers just what he was doing to piss you off...so he can do it again.

damn gerbil.

the Reindeer diet

2007-12-11T14:07:00.000-08:00

The surgeon general has stated that Santa is too fat. He is a poor role model for children, being fat and eating nothing but cookies and milk.. their resolution? that Children should put out more healthy foods for Santa such as Celery and carrots, so he can also share with his reindeer.

Hmmm.. so, its the fat that makes him a role model? whether he is thin or not makes him a role model?

not the fact that Santa takes his time all year long to make sure every person gets a present out of his own good will.. that he thinks of everyone to make their holiday special? that he doesnt ask for money or anything in return except you be good? not that he is Jolly and cares for people and is always smiling with a warm heart? Those things dont make a good role model? what about risking his life each year dealing with chimneys and houses that dont have chimneys... snow, sleet, reindeer poop, the hot climates in other parts of our world while he is wearing his heavy suit just to visit the children and give them a toy!!!

Maybe they should show children that Once a year, feasting on nothing but cookies doesnt hurt you, nor will it make you fat. and that being fat or thin does not make you a role model!

ps.. If I was santa, and you left me celery to sustain my long night of gift giving, I'd leave you Reindeer poop and possibly something dead i found on the street.

nomads

2007-12-11T14:01:00.000-08:00

Matt and I were discussing with Kaytlin about what the men in white shirts and ties, who go door to door were.. and the difference between the two.. Jahova witnesses and Mormons.. Kaytlin exclaims she knows what a Mormon is!.. its those people who move around a bunch.. they learned about them in school.. Matt and I look at eachother with a What? kind of look.. she says.. yeah we learned all about those.... then she said.. was it Mormons or Nomads?

hmmm... ? interesting outlook.. im not sure anymore..

Sick bastard 2

2007-10-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

So ..Washington kicked him out, so he ran to Cali.. California kicked him out.. Now he's in Portland OR... TELL everyone you know.. he had him self a little one on one with the news.. its sick.. People should follow him, watch him and make sure he doesnt do anything.. the police say.. well, until he commits a crime.. we cant do anything.. DO they HEAR what he's saying?? He wants to...its only a matter of time.. sheesh..

http://www.komotv.com/news/10539912.html

bitch session

2007-09-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

Our wedding is coming up.. the End of January. It feels like a long way away, but I know in reality, its only 3 months and 27 days. We have Alot to do before our big day. Plus we have normal every day things to adhere to as well, which i have to admit.. is getting a bit stressful. Kaytlin is growing just a little too quick, needs clothes, needs school stuff, needs constant guidance as she is entering a new phase in life.. braces, entertainment and love. I'm also trying to find a new job (need more $$) and above all else, looming in my near future is the daunting nightmare that is dress shopping. I cant tell you how scared it makes a girl to go dress shopping. wedding dresses are two sizes smaller than actual sizes.. Yeah i know.. as long as you look good, who cares what the size says? WRONG.. WOMEN CARE! which leads me to my goal of dropping a little of what I gained in the last year.. CRAP CRAP CRAP!!! 30 lbs total..( had a bit of a hard year with health.. those who know me know why) well, in all reality, I know I probablly wont lose 30 lbs.. but I'd like to see at least 20 go. But its hard when all the other stresses pump cortisol into your bloodstream, which causes you to crave.. everything. so its down to good ol will power. wish me luck, or wish me will power, or wish me to win the lottery and I'll just get it surgically removed! :)
Next:

We attended our pre-marital class last night.. I have to say.. while alot of whats discussed is common sense and of no use to us, as we have alot of that stuff down pat... they had a great discussion on the difference of men and women. How men think versus women. the discription of women and how we think and feel was VERY acurate! As I looked around the room while it was being read, people were in their own world.. fidgeting.. drawing.. one guy was tapping out whatever beat was in his head on the pad of paper in front of him.. I wanted to say "read it again!" just so some of it might be heard. there was alot of good stuff there for both sexes! i know it helped me see how i can improve my actions with my man..I never want him to feel less because of something I say, or do. I want him to know just what an awesome man he is .. always!

Women were made with a dire need to be loved and shown affection, when its not shown, we feel less about ourselves. our worthiness, it brings out our insecure side. I know its hard for guys to understand, but just that little bit and you'll have a woman who will adore you and do anything for you for the rest of your days! On the other side, it was good to see the differences they listed for men. they think more analytically, they need to be validated, to feel strong and proud, and hear that they are good men, good workers and hear they are desired. the pastor leading the class hit the nail on the head, he said " Guys are about words, thinking in the present and future, women are about actions thinking in the past and present"

This discussion really felt strong to me. We are such different people between women and men, who can act so selfish at times, and be completely unselfish at others.. it felt like answers were on the paper for all of us to see and realize how easy it really can be..

stupidity

2007-09-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

now, any normal joe is going to take his chances with outside forces before openly admitting to illegal activities, and facing prison time.. Right? and If something Illegal of yours is stolen, would you report it to police? no.. because you have a working brain that processes that information fully before acting..all in your own best interest (well, most of you). This guy, is a complete moron, deserving to be put in the definition of "stupidity". Im sure he was more scared of the guys who were going to come after him than the police..maybe he never heard of "laying low" for awhile.

read the story
http://www.komotv.com/news/local/9851481.html

On a lighter note.. We here in Seattle are awesome. When we ban together to be proud of something new, it just shines and we want to shout it out! "RIDE THE SLUT!"

read the story
http://www.komotv.com/news/9854551.html

2007-09-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

I cant help but be excited with Fall. I love the season change, I get excited for the school year to start, I start looking forward to seeing leaves turn colors, Halloween, Thanksgiving.. LOVE IT ALL. I'll miss Summer, but Fall has greatness to enjoy! Such as TV! All our fav shows are coming back, I can use my crock pot again, and the best reason of all??? Well, its one season closer to the best day of my life that will be coming in January. Thank God!

Speaking of:
I thanked God today for life in general. How awesome to know I am watched out for. Guided to my goal. That He brought me through everything and still will. That he brought me to my Fiance. (one e right?) everything just moves forward to the great plan He has.

Sick bastard

2007-08-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

For a couple of years, I've followed a story on Jack McClellan. Do you know that name? He's the sick bastard that Lived in Washington(out of his car), following, stocking, watching, and taking pictures of little girls and posting them on his website to let other pedophiles know where LG's(little girls) congregate. He has always admitted he's a pedophile, but said he will never act on it. Riiiiiigggggghhhhht. history shows us, that most sick people, know matter how much they believe they wont, will eventually commit the crime. the desire becomes too much. Well, Washington Moms kick ASS! They started following him around. Taking his picture.. showing everyone they could. Telling everyone they could about him, his website and his demented sick mind. he didnt like it.. hmm go figure you sick fuck. Washington couldnt do anything about it either.. law says he has the right to post whatever he wants and go where ever he wants, Until he actually commits the crime. WTF? He stocked little girls!! So, Washington Moms finally pushed him so much and all of washington knew his face,and treated him bad(boo hoo) that he felt he couldnt live here anymore and moved to California. We didnt stop... and people did everything they could to let California know he was coming!! Go figure.. California doesnt really like him either.. hmm.. So.. take a moment and read some of the News stories on him.. they finally got a good picture of him.. so get to know that too..(he didnt like having his picture taken.. and would wear disguises in the past to avoid it) Pass it on.. let people know.. if you ever see him... let him know you know who he is.. and then follow him for awhile.. take his picture and post it EVERYwhere!!! he will eventually commit the crime..even pyschologists say that..he belongs behind bars... i hear they dont treat pedophiles kindly in prison.. hmmmmm that made me smile a little..

http://www.komotv.com/results?keywords=Jack+McClellan&searchType=gen

Are you my friend?

2007-08-07T06:53:00.000-07:00

We all need an ear to listen to us right? I try very hard to be a good friend. To always be there for someone. To Always listen. To lend advice if asked. To be a big sister to some, to be a friend to some, to be whatever it is you need so that YOU feel cared for and have that Friend. I am a loyal person, who will give my all to someone else to help them. I know there is a difference between being a good listener and being a doormat, and I try to feel that out.. but I'm pretty bad at seeing who is using me and who is needing me. The last couple weeks have been hard for me. Stress, emotions, worries... blah blah...Well, some of the people I thought would be there for me.. were'nt (and one of them was part of the problem, she TOTALLY walked all over me, broke a promise, and all around showed me the only thing she thinks about is herself). This made me feel even worse, because this has happened through out my life.. I made myself the doormat once again. Do you not think that I need comfort too? That when things are rough, that I dont need to bounce some of my thoughts and feelings around with someone? To have someone support me a little, give me a freakin hug?? I took the day off of work and went and visited my old friend who I love with all my heart. she will ALWAYS be there for me.. and vise versa..she has a family, lives in boomfuckegypt, and we've grown up together.. but a girl needs more than just one girlfriend.. So, to Becky, Thank you for being my friend. Knowing that even though we're big girls now with families, that I dont have all the answers and i just needed someone to sit and have coffee with me, let me talk about it a little and then we just Hung out and laughed at old times, funny pictures, played with the babies.. I so needed that. you knew just what to do. you helped me put things in place and then took my mind off of stuff. Thank you my friend :)

Karen doesnt count in this.. You're my sister and my friend.. and you are ALWAYS there.. Thank you sister :) and Matt doesnt really count in here either.. cause he has no choice but to listen LOL.. jk. I love you with all my heart, you're my best friend and the love of my life!

The Cheater

2007-08-01T10:29:00.000-07:00

I read the below article on a friends Blog site ( http://www.enemesis.org/ ) and was thoroughly disturbed. Not so much by the content that there are women cheaters, because I'm not all that surprized- the ratio was 55% of women and 60% of men cheat. But this article is shocking to me, because one of the characters was so shocked that this can happen by a woman, when he's been such a great guy, but not shocked that it happened in the past, by men, to completely great women. he saw the distruction it caused and changed his future to avoid it. Great! Good For you! But he's out there trying to set the word women are now the cheaters, making it sound as if all of them are... NOT ALL OF THEM! Maybe i'm just reading it very one sided, because im a loyal God Loving woman who would NEVER cheat and pretty much think any woman or man who would are complete diseases. Did you know there are different kinds of Cheating?? People think its Just sex with another person. But its not. There is such a thing as Emotional cheating as well, where you have a strong relationship with another female/male other than your significant other, that you tell things too, feelings, hopes, dreams, secrets.. that you arent telling your woman/man. It breaks your bond and intimacy with the one you love, you're holding back from the relationship. Porn and other like things are cheating too. they are you desiring someone other than your woman/man which changes your overall impression of them, of love and realistic desires. I hate this discussion. I hate everything about it. I dont know what kind of person can actually do these things.. its truly disgusting to me. We have control of ourselves. If you cant control yourself, why not be honest, end your current relationship and be free to do whatever the hell you want to do with another person. You distroy your current woman/man when you cheat in any way. it causes SO many insecurities, emotional trauma, untrusting and over all heart break. I just dont get it... Regardless of which sex cheats.. they're all complete low life, weak cowards who will get theirs in return. To make it work, All i can say is... Trust your other. be honest and tell them everything. Dont let anything be kept a secret. Show them your love for them, not just words. Remember why you're with them in the first place, it will strengthen your bond, make you feel like you have a true partner in life. its not a hard concept. Unless your a whore and have no respect for yourself or another person.

http://men.style.com/details/features/full?id=content_5748

Pratical Joke

2007-07-30T07:07:00.001-07:00

I was very entertained with this story! You gotta read it.. I will admit, if my boss did that to me while i was under, I would have been pissed too. I think the fact that the boss thought this was funny is a little scary..with the power he has and all while your in his care, but a smart man... he scored over a million. check out the story: http://www.komotv.com/news/local/8749662.html

Irritants!

2007-07-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

people are really ticking me off today. All day I've got a few people that are LITERALLY causing me to pull out my hair, who are consistantly bugging me. One who cant stop telling OVER THE TOP lies, that are so rediculous you'd think they were all of 8 years old. Another who can not see she's kind of a bitch one moment and wants to be friends the next, however in the "friends" mode, she only talks about herself.... another who cant stop complaining about all the pain she feels, mind you, she just returned to work after taking a nice 6 month leave... to get that fixed. they did nothing, she says. so with these three Irritants, it makes me more irritable. such as hearing people who chew EXTREMELY loud in their cubes... on ICE! everytime someone calls my name, I just reply with "busy". I'm overly ready for this day to be DONE.

Passionate?

2007-07-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

Being a Girl from the 80's( I wasn't born in the 80's, I grew up in the 80's) I'd say it is my most favorite decade. Besides just growing up during that time, its the FEEL of the 80's that I remember the most. Everyone was struggling to find their own individuality. While there were A LOT of problems, there were also great movements happening. Everyone was trying to be aware of something to feel passionately about. Hands across America to help the homeless, Hear N' Aid/Live Aid/Band Aid concerts to help the Famine in Africa, The Berlin Wall crumbled,"Just Say No"(which didn't quite work, but you know...) Huge "AIDS" movements, It was as if politics and the media were working together to let the people of the world know what was going on (selected coverage and knowledge of course), and people were trying to be involved.
I know my outlook on the 80's is tainted slightly, as I didn't have to work yet, no real responsibility except to keep my room clean and pass my tests, but it was such an awesome time. So much happening, So much new, So much with technology, politics, entertainment really came into view..

I miss some of the feel of that time frame. Our world has become so big, and sometimes I feel like no one cares about things and others the way we did..that there's TOO much now and its hard to focus on anything.. its overwhelming. How can we help when its all SO big?

As I see it, all the same problems exist, its just that we are aware of all of them now (thanks to technology, media, politics, peoples rights), whereas before, only a few were presented at a time, which felt manageable..and our politics were a little more tight lipped. This is a good and bad thing all at once. Its our right to know, but some people don't want to know everything, because then they have the knowledge of how much help our World and its people need, and that's a frightening and overwhelming sense of responsibility.

I don't want to go back to that time frame, because I LOVE this time right now. I love where My life is, Love my Fiance, Love My Daughter..Love how far we as a whole have come, But I would like to have some of that "feeling" from the 80's with today. We're lacking mass compassion, and group care for the other inhabitants of this World. We have Much more power in our hands now than back in the 80's, we have much bigger voices and options..And some are heard, and great things happen, great progresses, but I havent seen people pull together as a whole with passion like we had back then.. hmm..

Where did all this come from? well, two things lead me thinking this way today.. First, The other day I was reading all of the info on the "Live Earth" concerts that were all over the world on July 9th to support the "GREEN" movement (http://liveearth.msn.com/about), I may not agree with all of the ideas in this movement, but I like what it stands for. Second, while watching the show "So you think you can dance?" (don't laugh.. i like it) they each did an individual dance last night to promote Peace in Iraq. The whole idea was that we don't have control in regards to whether or not we pull our troops out as a people or what we would like to do about the War, but we need to make a statement that says how we feel.
(FYI, did you know since 2003 Fort Lewis has lost over 150 troops over there? and we have 8000 out of the 10,000 from Fort Lewis still in Iraq. We have so many troops being killed at the same time, that they were having a hard time giving each Soldier an individual memorial..WTF? they tried doing memorials for several at a time.. that did NOT go well with the families of the fallen soldiers.. they will go back to giving individual memorials now. My Pride and Respect for Every Soldier is at the Highest. I support our troops completely. I'm not against the War, as I saw the importance and the initial goal, but I'm also not for the War either, as its lost direction and leadership. I wouldn't want to be in the Presidents shoes on this one...they're covered in dog crap right now.)

These two things have that "Feel". Hearing people be passionate about something, makes me feel passionate about my own beliefs and desires. I will NOT debate the War with Anyone. so don't ask me to. But I do like to hear other peoples views and comments. I hope we can continue to see the importance of making ourselves heard, fighting for good causes and lending a hand to someone who needs it, stranger or not. See some good and potential in our World. Listen to each other.. i mean really listen, pay attention..Be a Friend...Do something nice for others..Think about someone other than yourself...Bottom line?......Care.

Its time

2007-07-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

I finally did it, created a blog. More out of boredome and to give myself an outlet to have fun with, but over all it will be an easy way to conversate, and tell it how I see it. More to come another time...